Court fees, filing fees, divorce papers, the cost of legal advice and court hearings… If you are considering a divorce or have just decided to move ahead with a divorce, a major concern you might have is ...
Life after divorceFebruary 28, 2018 - Relationship Articles
- When do most divorces happen?
- What happens after divorce?
- How to cope emotionally after divorce
- How to cope financially after divorce
When do most divorces happen?
Divorce rates spike at certain times of the year, January being one of the most common times for couples to proceed with divorce. Once the holiday season is well and truly behind us, this period of the year is often when couples decide to split.
There are several explanations for this. The first being that the holiday season is a time when families try to stick together and make things work as best as possible. However, if things do not go to plan, couples may realize that the relationship has issues that they simply cannot be overcome.
Another reason is that people can be so busy with the festivities and the financial costs, that the breakdown of a relationship does not truly showcase itself until after the holiday period is over. Another cause of relationships ending after December is that holidays can actually cause real strain on relationships if they were not that strong to begin with. For example, Christmas is often an expensive holiday but it also requires a lot of work. If you were to notice that your partner is not putting in the same effort as you, this may highlight to you that parts of your relationship are one-sided.
What happens after divorce?
The good news is that this is entirely up to you. This is the opportunity for a brand new start and new you. This is the perfect time to focus on activities, hobbies, relationships, careers and any other aspects of life that have been put on hold or you have not been able to fully enjoy.
But you may first have to deal with an array of emotions. Some of the most common ones include:
- Panic/Anger/Sadness: It is easy and even natural after a divorce to look at the situation and feel a sense of panic, anger or sadness. However dealing with it bit by bit will make your future seem a lot more manageable and help you feel more optimistic.
- Guilt: Often after any feelings of sadness or anger have disappeared, people begin to wonder if they are to blame for the breakdown of a relationship. The reality of the situation is that although we cannot go back in time to amend our behavior if we were in the wrong, we can be grateful for what we have learned from difficult situations. Through refraining from feeling nostalgic or full of regret, we may begin to continue on with our lives, because it does not stop with divorce and it is important to actively pursue a fresh start after a breakup.
How to cope emotionally after a divorce?
Self-care is incredibly important after a divorce. Whenever times get tough, it is crucial to identify which people you feel comfortable having as your support network. Whether you have close friends you can talk to, family you can rely on or whether you think a therapist would be helpful, you must communicate your fears and feelings with other people. All too often we can let our thoughts spiral into a negative space and without other people’s perspectives, it is hard to get ourselves out of that spiral.
Be grateful for the relationships in your life that are going well, maybe you have an amazing relationship with your parents or your siblings or even your work colleagues. Remember that romantic relationships are not the only ones that matter and that not being in a romantic relationship does not devalue you in any way.
Another important thing to note after a divorce is that change takes time and although you may not feel like everything will get better, it will but there is no quick fix for anything. Take one day at a time and try to be excited for any new opportunities that come your way, no matter how small they may be.
How to cope financially after a divorce?
Depending on your personal financial situation as well as what agreements were made during the divorce, the effect it has on different divorcees will vary from person to person. The situation will also depend on whether you have any children or not and whether you have a stable job. One of the most common ways that people get into debt is simply by not acknowledging how much money they actually have and how much money they spend. If you know exactly how much money you usually spend month to month (taking into account the occasional additional costs that arise unexpectedly) and how much money you have, you will better be able to understand what compromises you may need to make.
You also need to reevaluate your financial situation and ask yourself the following questions:
- How have your outgoings changed?
- How has your income changed?
- What is going to cost you more than before?
- What can I do to make more money?
Alongside long-term financial solutions (such as adapting how much money you spend or buying a smaller home), you may also consider selling some of your valuable possessions. Following your life after divorce, there are many reasons why you may choose not to keep your engagement ring, or any jewelry that reminds you of your previous relationship. Selling the jewelry from your marriage could remove any unwanted reminders, as well as provide some financial aid should you need it.
If you decide to sell jewelry, such as your engagement ring, WP Diamonds can offer you a quick, secure and easy transaction. The process is simple, fill out our online form today to receive your price quote. Our free service is A+ BBB rated, sell online or via appointment to the diamond experts.